Exactly just What had been the possibilities things could find yourself violently between us — beside me, needless to say, having the shitty end? Might Trayvon force himself on me in a manner that I happened to be unwilling to just accept but struggling to stop?! They certainly were perhaps not questions that are idle. We thought long and difficult about that, however in the final end i decided that no, he wouldn’t do this. According to exactly exactly just what, you ask? Good question — we don’t understand.

Another consideration had been, that which was Trayvon getting away from this relationship? Demonstrably, he’d have a intercourse partner and also at least some usage of my canteen account. We knew he had simply no cash, in which he knew that I’d at the very least some cash. Possibly he had been actually drawn to me personally and he had been a mooch — an opportunity was represented by me to meet both requirements! Ended up being here such a thing undoubtedly incorrect with that? Only at that early phase we told myself that so long I was okay to let him have a soup or a honey bun when he wanted something as he didn’t get too greedy. Why shouldn’t I reward him for his relationship? In the end, we endured to obtain one thing from this too — unlike my situation at Swift Annex I’d have jail bad-ass to my part just in case i obtained threatened or harassed.

Did Trayvon have HIV or other STD? Needless to say he said no and said he previously to have tested sporadically and blah blah blah. I did son’t press the problem or require seeing the test outcomes. Instead I inquired myself — keep in mind, this person had been assigned to kitchen responsibility — Would my state’s DOC designate some guy with HIV to that particular type or style of task? I experienced to trust the clear answer ended up being no, no chance. Other inmates later laughed within my self- self- confidence in DOC! Also, he wasn’t using any meds — either K.O.P. (“keep on person”) or solitary dosage. Therefore we judged him become healthier.

Ended up being I the actual only real guy he had been striking on or are there other people — either there in my own dorm or in your kitchen where he worked sixdays per week? Did we worry about that? A jail dorm is all about the smallest amount of place that is private can are now living in, and so I could see the majority of Trayvon’s interactions with other people. He had other buddies, black colored & white. Achieved it appear to be he had been striking on any one of those guys? Response — no. As to I must’ve cared or I wouldn’t have been paying so much attention whether I cared. But we told myself we cared maybe maybe not away from jealousy but because I happened to be nevertheless trying to puzzle out their motives that are real focused on getting an STD.

I inquired myself: If i really do this does which make me personally unfaithful to my ex-wife with who We hoped to get together again once I got down? Exactly exactly What would which means that? We had been divorced!

Could carrying this out somehow turn me personally homosexual after an eternity to be that is straight minimum since it pertains to grownups? I did son’t understand yet because I experiencedn’t had this experience yet. But I was thinking — no. I happened to be making a unique exclusion for this “friend with benefits, ” an exception that could end as soon as we finished. I was thinking, “Trayvon is really a situation that is unique. What other young black colored dudes might be enthusiastic about a mature white guy? ” To date, i did son’t feel any gayer. I happened to be just messing around and having some disgusting fun. It had been a jail thing.

Before looking at the possibility advantages Trayvon had to offer as a “friend with advantages” i want to say one final instead serious issue that I didn’t consider in front of time — although in hindsight i truly need to have! That cameraprive has been, assume we had been discovered? Assume rumors about us begun to travel round the dorm simply because I happened to be spending lots of time hanging out Trayvon’s bunk and we’re smiling at each and every other a great deal? Exactly just just What would we do, if any such thing, to squelch rumors that are such?