It once was that any hopeless American man—no matter exactly exactly how fat, bald, or ugly—could journey to Moscow and get back to Topeka having a gorgeous trophy spouse.

It once was that any hopeless American man—no matter exactly exactly how fat, bald, or ugly—could journey to Moscow and get back to Topeka having a gorgeous trophy spouse. But because of a booming Putin-era economy—and all the prosperity and gold-plated Land Rovers that include it—the tim...