The really solid thing that this essay does is offer a lot of sentence variety. If you remember back to the bonus materials, there’s a sentence variety chart that I gave you that I said you could utilize to sort of chart your sentence variety, the things I’ve done in the bonus materials for this essay is chart the sentence selection of one of the body paragraphs. And you will see by studying the differing kinds plus the different lengths of sentences that this really has a great flow, there are many variety there. Additionally this essay uses an advance vocabulary but it is not only advanced, it really is used appropriately. So here the example is, ‘Free tutoring doesn’t aim at the heart of the problems schools that are facing a wider selection of classes does by livening curiosity about school up to graduation.’ Therefore we’ve just seen an advance sentence structure and an advance use of vocabulary very strong language that is commendable. These are all the causes why this essay earned an 11 which can be where you want to ideally be scoring ten to 12 in the ACT writing.
Now let us have a look at sample essay number 2.
Go on and go to the bonus materials and print it out. Again i will begin with reading the initial paragraph but it really will be important for you to have a tough copy on front of one to follow along. Alright, that one starts with ‘A major problem that many high schools face is students failing to graduate, or dropping out before they have the chance. High schools over the nation have attempted countless programs that are different ways to attempt to combat student’s failure, some proving more lucrative than others. For me, offering a wider variety of class options would do a better job of promoting success than merely offering free tutoring because ‘interest’ promotes a desire to master and remain in school, a thing that not only getting help can do.’ So this one starts out very similar to essay number 1 but if you noticed this 1 only type my papers scored a seven. So it’s still within the half that is top a far cry through the 11 that the first essay scored. Here we have again a tremendously position that is strong comprehension of the duty. This writer says ‘offering a wider variety of class options would do a better job of promoting student success and merely offering tutoring that is free the attention promotes the want to learn and remain in school.’ Therefore we’ve got a position, we have reason, in addition we have the introduction of a counter argument. You could already infer even for those who haven’t read the essay from this that this writer must not do a beneficial job of incorporating and powering up on that counter argument otherwise they would have scored a lot higher on the essay. So solid ‘task and position’ why don’t we see where it falls a bit that is little.
‘Complexity and development’ alright this writer says, ‘My twelfth grade really helps many students by providing peer tutors because learning from peers is more appealing than being re-taught by adults. ‘tutoring helps many who may be too frustrated I notice when I read this is the wording is a little bit confusing here and I’m not really sure what this is supposing because, honestly it’s making tutoring sound like a really good thing that they cannot understand their classes and want to drop out.’ Now the first thing. The positioning statement told me that this essay would definitely be arguing for a wider selection of classes. Which means this might be an attempted counter argument, but where it falls short will it be doesn’t completely dismiss the counter claim, it leaves the reader wondering exactly what is this person proving. So that’s the first place that falls short in complexity and development. The essay also says, ‘Offering many courses means that students will still yet learn have a blast and become less stressed.’ Now that is into the body that is second and also this may be the first time that the writer has introduced this idea of ‘having fun and becoming less stressed’ and it is really unclear where that links to the position that ‘a wider variety of classes is much better for learning.’ It focused and supportive.
Finally in organization this essay is organized simply but effectively it really is sorts of predictable but that’s why it scores a seven rather than very up at the top of the scale which will be at the 11. This essay says ‘In addition to more classes, having parents and teachers who care about students’ success, offering extra-curricular programs to increase an connection that is active the school, having assemblies and events to advertise school spirit and several other factors are typical important in promoting success.’ Now these are really ideas that are great definitely on topic, but one might be prepared to see these ideas introduced in the introduction after which followed up on when you look at the essay. However once you learn where this paragraph arises from may be the conclusion and that’s among the big no, no’s for the organization that is basic. That you do not introduce ideas that are new the conclusion because all it can is serve to confuse the reader. They aren’t anything that you’ve mentioned and none of your support relates to it. So this is just why this essay’s score is a bit that is little in organization.
‘Sentence structure and grammar.’ Alright this essay says, ‘Something that not merely getting help can do.’ It is one of the lines that really stuck off to me in reality it really is part of the position statement that is those types of sentences that readers are really focused in on, if you are given your thesis or your situation, they want it to be clear. And also this wording is truly type of confusing, I’m not sure what things are referring to, what the something is and it’s just a bit that is little. So again we have types of this awkward use of language which keeps this essay down in that mid range rather than shooting it up to the higher range that displays a command of this language.
Alright the couple of pitfalls that this essay run into that individuals curently have talked about and you like to make certain you avoid. This essay makes ‘hasty generalizations’ the line, ‘only students with a desire to improve may benefit from such a program.’ That’s a big jump. To make certain that’s saying basically if I give tutoring to everybody if they don’t whole heartedly wish to be there they will flat out fail. And I also believe that’s a really big leap in flaw and logic. Moreover it gets a bit that is little, ‘The most important, though, is a student’s aspire to learn and also to succeed;’ it just continues on and on about this. And finally we talked about that ‘basic organization’ not only do we now have style of candid transitions like ‘in addition’ to and ‘furthermore’ but we talked concerning the introduction of the latest ideas in the conclusion which really throws your reader for a whip. So coming back to wrap it all within the seven indicators that your readers will be shopping for is your ‘understanding of the job,’ the ‘position’ you take, the ‘complexity’ with which you talk about the presssing issue, the ‘development’ or support you provide, how you organized your ideas and then the manner in which you deliver it along with your ‘sentence and word choice’ and your ‘grammar.’
In this episode we’ve taken a review of two essays, both were solid they scored when you look at the half that is top clearly we come across why essay one scored an 11 while essay two scored a seven.
So now which you guys have the various tools in addition to important information to attack the ACT writing section, I know you will do great.